Kiss Me
by quirrells
Summary: "Why do you do these things, Sirius?" "Because I love you, McKinnon." And she believed him. (Will contain M rated stuff eventually be warned!)
1. Like You Want To Be Loved

_**AN: **_I apologise in advance for anything. Anything at all.

**Chapter One**

_November 1977_

"McKinnon." The words left his lips in a rumble and she smiled quickly at him, keeping her pace along the corridor. Her footsteps clattered and his hand grabbed at her wrist. She closed her eyes for a second, just in case she gave too much away.

"Can I help you with something?" she raised an eyebrow at him, her eyes now open, and he dropped her wrist hurriedly. There were red marks where he had held on so tightly. She pursed her lips and continued walking.

"I wanted to-"

"No, Sirius," she snarled. She'd had enough of being _his_. There was so much more she could be doing than trying to please him. She had other friends. Gosh, where was Evans when she was needed?

"I don't want… not that, not today, at least." His words were ever so intriguing. But then again, they always were. He was mysterious and gorgeous and she just couldn't help it. She stopped abruptly and he carried on for a few feet before realising.

"What is it?" she peered out of the window beside her as she spoke, avoiding any and all eye contact. Snow fell on the other side of the pane, settling on the sill. It looked even more beautiful out there than it did normally.

"I… I wanted to show you something," he spoke, approaching her and grabbing her wrist again. This time there was no struggle. He pulled her towards him, looping his arm around her waist and guiding her down corridor after corridor, stair after bloody stair.

It was an age before they'd even gotten to the entrance to the grounds. She rolled her eyes at him. He was bloody ridiculous, he truly was.

"It's freezing out there, I couldn't possibly-"

"Oh, can it, McKinnon," he dragged her out of the door, entwining his fingers in hers.

"You know I don't particularly _like_ you right now, Sirius," she mumbled and he laughed heartily.

"Of course not, McKinnon," he chuckled, "you don't like anyone who makes you go out in the cold, though, so I'll try not to take it too hard."

She scowled at him as she was forced to trudge through the snow, her satchel banging at her hip. The sun, she noticed, was falling lower and lower in the sky with each step. What was he playing at? It had to be close to curfew, now.

They pushed further, moving towards a small copse of trees. Through the haze of dusk, she could see something flickering and at that moment he placed his hand over her eyes and began manoeuvring her towards whatever it was.

A minute or two later, he removed his hand and her eyes fell on the supposed surprise.

"What is this?"

"Well I… uh, I missed your birthday," he shrugged, staring straight at his feet.

"Oh." He had? She couldn't recall.

He looked up from his feet, the look on his face as if she had offended him.

"Don't you like it?"

She'd hardly taken in the sight before her, hardly bothered to pay anything but _him_ any attention. Her eyes scanned over the blanket, the jar of bluebell flames, and the food.

"Just… kiss me," she spoke softly, her fingers pulling his head down towards hers eagerly. He kissed her back, fervently, pulling her towards him. With a chuckle, the pair toppled onto the blanket.

* * *

><p>It felt as if she'd been lying there in his arms for hours, but in reality she'd been there for just under half of one. Their fingers were still intertwined, flakes of snow scattered across the blanket. There had been silence for some four minutes and she was okay with that. She was content here in his arms, safe. She felt home there. She had closed her eyes for a second and breathed in deeply.<p>

If only she could stay there forever.

"We could be dead this time next year, Sirius." The words left her lips as quick as she had thought of them and she'd regretted saying them the second she had. His arms tightened around her, his breathing quickening slightly.

"Oh, how morbid," he groaned. She elbowed him in the ribcage and sighed.

"Seriously, Sirius. Maybe not next year, but the year after that, or even after that. But you've seen it, heard the stories."

Seconds passed and she was almost ready toshut up. Why she was keeping on was beyond her.

"We won't be," he mumbled, "don't be ridiculous, McKinnon. You've got me."


	2. I've Tried Everything

**AN**: I suck at updating. Screw college. (Also, if this doesn't make sense in some places it's because I left this for about four months. Sorry!)

**Chapter Two**

_December 1977_

They'd fought about it, the war. And they'd not spoken, not for a while since. He'd confused her wildly in the past few weeks as it was. There had been something of a party in an empty classroom on the fourth floor and he'd ended up with his hands all over Mary, much to her own dismay. Marlene didn't know why she'd been so... possessive of him. He wasn't hers, nor was she his. He could do anything he wanted as far as she was concerned. She couldn't care less.

Despite that, she couldn't stop thinking about it as she sat with the side of her head against the window. It was raining, again. It was always the same. The monotony of it all, the humdrum life that seemed to come with it, bored her to death. She wanted something more than this. More than Hogwarts could give her. Rain drops ran down the window pane, leaving their trails in the condensation. Life was so meaningless, so throwaway. It had taken her so long to realise that, but with You-Know-Who coming to power, it was hard not to think of all the lives lost because of him. Those who had died, leaving behind families, friends, colleagues. Marlene brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes with the thought, swinging herself from the windowsill.

"Lily," she acknowledged, as the redhead entered the dorm. Marlene was out of the door before she could even begin to bring up the subject of Sirius. She didn't want to stick around talking about him. There was nothing more to say that hadn't already been discussed between the pair. Marlene sighed, pulling at the sides of her robes. That boy infuriated her. Despite being a man, so to speak, he really was just a boy. An idiot, pain-in-the-arse, only-good-for-a-shag boy. She was certain that that was all he wanted from her, and she honestly couldn't care less about the whole thing.

At least, that was what she had decided to tell her friends, herself, the entire world. That Sirius Black was an arsehole. That he wasn't even a good kisser and he most certainly wasn't anywhere near as good as Fenwick had been in bed last year. But in fact, it was quite the opposite. Marlene just wasn't ready to come to terms with the fact that she had feelings towards a tosser like Sirius Black. She'd rather date the Whomping Willow, for Merlin's sake.

The blonde made her way out of the common room, down several flights of stairs and through dozens of corridors towards the Great Hall. Food was calling, and Quidditch Practise would wait for no one, knowing Potter. He wasn't as much of an arse as Black, but he was rather demanding. Marlene didn't want to have to chase a quaffle around a pitch in the rain, and most certainly not down that the sun was going down. It'd be dark before she could even grab a couple of slices of bread to keep her going, she knew it.

And she had been right. She was in and out of the Great Hall in under a minute, grabbing two slices of buttered bread and a little of the copious amounts of cauldron cake Emmeline had been squirreling away on her plate. She'd turned on her heel almost immediately, catching some kid in the face with her elbow and marching out of the Great Hall, down onto the grounds towards the Quidditch Pitch. What little of the sun there was was just slipping down under the horizon as she set out. She pulled her robes up over her head to protect her from the sheets of drizzling rain around her, but it made little difference. She was wet through by the time she reached the locker room, pulling her robes off over her head almost immediately upon her entrance and replacing them with momentarily dry quidditch ones.

Practise that day was long and hard; the rain dragged down spirits, slowing the team altogether and Potter wasn't best pleased. Marlene was far too busy focusing on the stray hairs plastered to her lips and the fact that Sirius couldn't hit a bloody bludger away from her in time to save either of their lives to allow her to pay any attention to the quaffle itself _whatsoever_. And now from the full impact of the bludger, her arm was slightly numb. Potter was right, it was time to call it a day. _Thank Merlin for that_, she thought, chuckling to herself morosely.

Marlene landed back on the pitch below, and began to trudge through the mud in her Quidditch boots, a nice hot shower the only thing keeping her going. Mud was somehow splashed all up the inside of Marlene's robes, on her legs and her thighs. Bloody Scottish weather. It needed to either stop raining or start raining properly. And with that thought, the drizzle became a downpour. Fucking brilliant, she glared at the ground before her, growing darker and thicker by the second. She continued to drag herself forward, into the locker room, leaving a trail of thick, brown mud in her wake. She couldn't give two shits, to be honest. It wasn't her who'd be cleaning it up and even if it were, it'd be a doddle. They had spells for that crap, after all.

Marlene pulled herself into the shower, derobed and filthy. She hated Quidditch, she really did. Why the fuck she was still playing truly was beyond her, but she supposed it was the fact that Potter would only beg her to come back again. She didn't need Lily's boyfriend humiliated in front of the entire house again, did she now? Thoughts of Quidditch, Lily, James; they were all running around Marlene's mind as she washed. She washed until there was no dirt left beside that little thought of Sirius. That thought that maybe it was him she was really staying on the team for, but she shook it from her head before it could even form properly. That most certainly was not the case, after all.

A few minutes later, Marlene McKinnon stood dripping wet in the doorway that separated the shower room and the locker room, listening to the sound of the rain. It was heavier now, and the only light was that inside the building. She pulled on her underwear, drying herself with the towel and muttering "_exaresco_" as she pointed her wand at her hair. There were footsteps and as Marlene turned to pull on her robes, there were arms around her waist, lips against her neck.

"What are you doing?" she mumbled, leaning away from the kisses. His arms fell from her waist and she sighed, pulling her robes over her head. He seemed to enjoy this; behaving like a spoilt child. She turned, facing him and raised an eyebrow.

"I asked what you're doing, _Black_," her eyebrow crawled further up her forehead as his arms snaked their way around her once more and she didn't resist, not this time. "Oh, my dear Marly. You know exactly what I'm doing," he whispered, nibbling on her earlobe. His fingers moved from her waist to her hips, pulling at the material. She pushed him away, turning to put her things in her bag. She pulled the bag over her shoulder, half-smiling at Sirius before side-stepping so she could leave the changing rooms, bracing herself for the rain. It was falling in torrents now, and he picked up her pace as much as possible without falling flat on her face. Her once dry hair was quickly plastered to her head and she squinted to keep the raindrops from falling into her eyes.

And there he was again, pulling at her, at her robes, fingers moving over her. She sighed, brushing him away. "No, Sirius." Maybe if she treated him like a dog he'd get it. Go away. "Why not, McKinnon?" he bellowed through the rain, arms dropping to his sides as he walked in step with her. She rolled her eyes. "Because I'm exhausted," she shouted back, as they approached the castle. He followed her up flight after flight of stairs until they reached the sixth floor and he pulled her violently from the corridor into an abandoned classroom.

"Sirius, I said _no_," Marlene hissed as his fingers danced on her hips.

"Fine." He snapped. "Just know, okay. Know that I'm sorry for the other night. I didn't mean to... you know," he gestured with his hands and she nodded quickly. "It's fine, Sirius," she muttered, staring down at her feet, avoiding his gaze. She could feel him, moving closer to her, hands brushing over her, starting at her neck and stopping to rest on either cheek, by which time it was impossible not to stare up at him bashfully, biting on her bottom lip.

"You say sorry every time, Sirius," she sighed. "It doesn't seem that you mean it." Her eyes fell back to the floor.

"I do... I do," he dropped her cheeks, running his fingers through his hair quickly. "I just... you know... me and firewhiskey."

"So _stop it_," she snapped. "Stop being an arse when there's so much more out there. Sirius, we could both be dead in a year and you know it. We could all be dead and You-Know-Who doesn't give a crap about us." She pressed her lips together, holding back tears. "You need to get over this, okay."

"_Get over this_?" he snorted, rolling his eyes. "I've tried everything, Marlene. Lily's even given up giving me detentions because she _pities_ me. That's what she said. _Pity_. And you won't get out of here," he tapped his temple trice and sighed. there was a moment of hesitation before she moved forward, pressing her lips to his. She stumbled backwards and her bag fell to the floor with a small thump, astonished by her own actions.

"What was that for?" he frowned, moving to within inches of her, taking a hand and leaning forward, pressing his lips to her again, this time with a little more force. His free hand found her other cheek, pulling her closer to him, keeping her in the liplock.

She pulled away at last, finally able to catch her breath, only for a flood of tears to pour from her eyes. She attempted to blink them away furiously, to no avail.

"I love you, McKinnon," he whispered. "I love you and _only_ you. I don't know how long it will take for you to realise that, but... I do." His forehead met hers with a soft thud, his thumbs wiping hot tears from her cheeks. She shut her eyes, squeezed them tight and pulled away. She couldn't be dealing with affairs of the heart, not now. It felt so wrong.

"I can't... I can't do this." She shook her head violently. They'd be leaving Hogwarts in a matter of months, and Merlin knew what she'd be doing once they left. She hoped to be fighting for the cause, an Auror at best. Anything to stop her family getting hurt likes so many had already. She squeezed her eyes shut, wiping away tears before reopening them and attempting to find her bag.

"I'm sorry, Sirius. I... I shouldn't have... I..." she choked up, jiggling the door handle in an attempt to get out. It eventually flew open and she left in a clatter of footsteps and smeared mascara, leaving Sirius Black behind, just little more than a tangled mess of emotions.


	3. You Can Be The Boss

_**AN**_: listen to You Can Be The Boss - Lana Del Rey when you read this. I beg you (P.S. my smut is crap. Apologies.)

**Chapter Three**

_January 1977_

The rain and snow were as relentless as James Potter's quidditch practise schedule. Despite sub-zero temperatures, he still insisted on two hours a day, every day. He didn't really seem to care whether his team all came down with hypothermia. Marlene was beginning not to care too much, either. If she was ill, it would give her an excuse to avoid practise and homework, NEWTs and girl problems. If she was actually ill, she could hide away from the real world for a day or two.

But she wasn't ill, not yet, despite a sniffle or two. The only sickness she had was this putrid feeling towards Sirius. She didn't understand it. She didn't love him, did she? Was she absolutely insane? Maybe she really was sick. Marlene scratched her quill against the wood of her desk, the fingers of her left hand tapping against it. The class was dismissed moments later and she had stuffed her things into her bag and left the room before the homework had even been explained across the babble of students.

She brushed her hair back with her hand, satchel slung over her shoulder, and sighed as she was met with the sight she didn't really need, but was hoping for. Sirius Black, sex-god-extraordinaire was stood leaning against the wall outside of her History of Magic class. He smiled and lurched forward, grabbing her hand and pulling her into a run, scampering forth. They continued on at a half-run, half-walk pace, until he pulled her to the side and they fell into what appeared to be an empty corridor.

"Sirius," she hissed.

"It's okay, gorgeous, nobody ever comes down here. Most people don't really know the password for the passageway, you see." He nodded towards the back of a portrait. How had she not noticed that? He looked back at her, grinned and bit his lip, hand falling to the small of her back, wrenching her up towards him. Her feet barely skimmed the floor now, and she smirked up at him.

"I fucking hate you," she spoke, still smirking.

"As if," he purred, pressing his lips fervently against hers. Her fingers reached up to his hair, pulling him into her. In a desperate grasp for air, she resurfaced, and her teeth found his lip. A low growl resonated from Sirius' mouth as their lips met again. His fingers pulled at her jumper, her hands at the knot of his tie. Her grey pullover was whipped over her head in second and she pulled off his tie and his shirt, hands running over his chest and his stomach. He began to unbutton her shirt but quickly got bored and pulled the two sides open, ripping her shirt from her body.

"Oh, fuck, Sirius," she mumbled into his hair, as his lips darted towards her chest, hands running from her waist to her breasts. His tongue ran from her collarbone to where the lace of her bra began, and he pulled the cup forward. He clamped his lips onto her nipple and she let her head fall back, her blonde hair touching the small of her back. His lips travelled from her breast up to her face, and she kissed him back firmly.

She had little idea why she was here with him. Maybe it really did have something to do with actually loving him. She'd never admit it, though, and he knew that, even if he did love her so much he just wanted to apologise all the damn time.

He pushed her against the wall and hitched her leg up, fingers moving up her uncovered thighs towards her. He moved past her underwear and further into her. She moaned, biting down on her lip to keep quiet. They didn't need to attract anyone. His speed seemed to be alternating, thumb attempting to pleasure her clitoris. He was doing a pretty good job. He'd gotten better since the last time they'd done this, she noticed as she bit at his neck. She moaned into his skin, shuddering slightly. He pulled back and licked his fingers clean, grinning at her.

She shook her head and sighed at him, pressing her lips to his for a second. Her fingers found the waistband of his trousers and she hooked her thumbs beneath his boxers and pulled them down, falling slowly to her knees. She came to rest before him, grasping him with one hand and bringing her lips to him. She swirled her tongue around his head for a second before taking an inch or two of his cock into her mouth. She removed him from her mouth and ran her tongue from the base to the tip of the underside of his shaft and smiled up at him as a small, deep moan escaped from his mouth.

She widened her mouth further as she took him back into her mouth, moving her hand back and forth at the base of his cock as she sucked on his cock, adding pressure with every second. She wanted him so badly. A sound like a cross between whimper and a moan slipped from Sirius' closed mouth as Marlene worked harder to please him. She needed him to finish. His fingers ghosted over the soft skin of her neck and he smiled, eyes closed for a moment, and in that moment, it seemed as if they were the only two people in the entire world, as if everything in the universe had just shrunk down to that one secret passageway.

He was close, so painfully close, and she could feel it too, throbbing in her mouth. She pushed forward, hand running up and down the length of his cock and head bobbing back and forth. Yet another moan, far more a growl came from Sirius' mouth as orgasm overwhelmed him, and the only thing he was truly aware of has he spilled himself down Marlene's throat was the sheer pleasure of it, relieving yet almost painful. He steadied himself, one hand against the wall.

Marlene did something she wasn't exactly used to doing, and swallowed, removing him from her mouth and running her tongue seductively across her lips, trying to get every drop of him. She steadied herself with her hands on his hips and as she stood up, brought his underwear and trousers with her. She ran her eyes from his crotch to his face and raised an eyebrow. With that, he pressed his lips against her cheek and smiled.

She pushed her hair aside and did her blouse back up, pulling her jumper over her head and leaving him topless. "See you after Transfiguration," Marlene winked, readjusting her skirt as she turned away.


End file.
